To hear Donald Trump talk, China is the worse thing that has happened to the US. Trump says it’s not “free trade’ we have with China. Its “dumb trade”. According to “The Donald” the US is the “dumping ground” for all of China’s products. Forget that Apple has sold over 700 million iPhone’s to enthusiastically willing customers in the US alone, (all made in China), or that Whole Foods 365 Organic brand food is imported from China, or those “Make America Great Again” hats Trump wears at his rallies, are, you guessed it, made in China! Yet, if you believe what Trump is saying, by nearly every measure, China is “killing us”.
Amidst all this gloom and doom about China beating the pants off the US, I found a ray of sunshine; a glimmer of hope in the sea of despair. There is one place the US is beating China at its own game, and that’s at the Chinese Buffet!
You can’t pass a strip center anywhere in the US without seeing a Chinese buffet. The Chinese buffet is as American as the Nail Salon, Check Cashing, Furniture Rental, and “Dollar” stores that fill nearly every strip center in the US. There are Chinese buffets in rural areas where they have never seen a Chinese person, nor can they properly pronounce the most popular Chinese dishes. But this is where good old American ingenuity has kicked in and kicked China’s fat little Buddha’s butt!
Have you taken a look at the food selections of the average Chinese buffet? What about it is Chinese? The warming trays are filled with deep fried, grease drenched, fat licking, artery clogging American cuisine like tater tots, and macaroni and cheese, and pizza, and onion rings, and roast beef, and chicken fingers, and potato wedges, and garlic bread! Garlic bread? Really? What the heck is Chinese about garlic bread? What happened to Lo Mein or Moo Goo Gai Pan or Chow Mein and Spicy Tofu Dishes? Its been replaced by fish sticks and chocolate chip ice cream!
Americans insatiable appetites have crushed the Chinese Buffets’ profits to the point they can no longer afford to serve Chinese food. The classic Chinese dishes have been replaced with cheap, unhealthy American food. Its a huge defeat for the Chinese! In order to stay in business they have succumbed! A friend of mine actually said, “well at least ‘they got’ sushi”. Sorry (I wont say your name to embarrass you). Sushi is Japanese, not Chinese! Its the only thing left on the menu that comes from one of those “nese” countries.
The last time I was in a “Chinese” buffet, I watched an old boy scarf down 3 plates piled high with fried shrimp, tater tots, onion rings, fried chicken wings, pizza, mac and cheese, and french fries. Not one thing on his multiple plates could be remotely considered “Chinese” food. After he finished he turned to his wife and said, “Honey, I believe that’s the best Chinese I’ve every had”. I could have just died then because with that statement I did just hear it all!
So you see, when it comes to the Chinese buffet, we beat China at their own game! They only thought they were going to move into our country and proliferate our cities and towns with “All You Can Eat” buffets that only featured “their” cuisine. However, like we Americans do, we fought back, and we won! Yeah, we went ahead and let them keep the name “Chinese” above the door, but we know the truth, and the truth is:
That ain’t Chinese food!
The Lonesome Leaker 