I live in a 55/over condo community. It’s a tidy little place. The grass is cut weekly. The trees and shrubs trimmed to perfection. The landscaping is beautiful, lush and decorative. This summer maintenance has been meticulously repairing and repainting the carports. They even resealed and re-striped all the parking areas. Majestic palm trees line the entrance. It’s appropriately named, “Paradise Shores.” In fact, when you lease or purchase in the community, and they hand you the keys to your property, the manager says with a smile on her face, “Welcome to Paradise.”
At Paradise Shores, each condo has it’s own neatly landscaped area surrounding the property. In this area are shrubs, flowers, plants, and even small gardens, if you like. Those areas are lined with a concrete retaining wall. That wall serves as a bumper for the lawn service, as well as a barrier to keep the squirrels, rabbits, lizards, and other critters from damaging the foliage.
Recently, I noticed the wall between my property and my neighbor has begun to separate. The breach in this wall has widened to the point where lizards are getting through. That’s right, hundreds of undocumented lizards are pouring in from his side of the property. I don’t know who these lizards are, where they come from, I don’t know their intentions, or what they are seeking. I do know they don’t belong in my yard.
My neighbor seems completely unfazed concerning this growing catastrophe. He asked me, “what’s the big deal with lizards from my yard coming through the retaining wall into your yard”? Whats the “Big Deal”? Really? I have plenty of lizards in my own yard. More than I can currently care for. So many that when I open my back door several sneak by me and run in my house and hide. Then I have to search all over the house to find them and direct them back into the yard. At least I know my lizards and they will eventually obey my directive to get out of my house.
His lizards? I don’t know them and they don’t know me. How do I know they wont run into my house and start eating all my food? How about if they hide under the beds or in the closets and have babies? What if I can’t get them to leave? He doesn’t keep his place nearly as nice as I do, so naturally they will want to stay at my place!
I told my neighbor, that retaining wall has to be fixed, I can’t have his lizards coming through that wall and illegally entering my yard and my home.
His response, “Its your yard, your problem, fix the wall.”
No problem neighbor. I will fix the wall. In fact, I am going to build a bigger wall. It will be a great retaining wall between my yard and your yard. I am going to build a great wall because when I do something, I really do it well. Nobody builds a retaining wall like me. That I can guarantee. And do you know who’s going to pay for that retaining wall? That’s right! HE is going to pay for the retaining wall. Oh, he doesn’t know it yet, but he is. He wanted to make the wall my problem. Fine. I will build a great retaining wall and he will pay for it. Plus, all the lizards from his yard that are now in my yard? They are going back. Back to his yard where they came from. I may let some of them return at some point, but first, they have to go back to his yard!
The wall is going to be so great. A great retaining wall. He will see. Nobody builds a retaining wall like me. And who is going to pay for this wall? Thats right! He is!
The Lonesome Leaker 