Everyone seems to be searching for the secret to a lasting relationship. Our world is full of relationship counselors, guides, mentors, consultants, mentor and gurus. Everyone has an opinion on this issue. Just ask them. Consulting with friends, family, and professionals concerning how to achieve relational bliss seems to bring about more questions than answers. However, there is really only one simple question you need to answer to determine the longevity and contentment in a relationship, and that is, can you stand their gas?
That’s right! Gas. Everyone has gas. Oh, I know we spend untold weeks, months, and for some, even years, acting like we are the only people in the world who don’t pass gas. Especially women. I mean, when you are dating, you are lead to believe they never have a gaseous moment. Or, if they do, it smells like a field of lilies, or something similar. I mean, seriously guys, when you are out to dinner with her, what do you think she is doing when she says, “excuse me, I need to go to the ladies room”? Do you think she is fixing her hair and refreshing her makeup? No! She has excused herself because those refried beans from your favorite Mexican joint are pressing so hard against her lower intestines she is about to explode. That contrived smile isn’t because she is laughing politely at your jokes. It’s that look you get on your face in public when you feel a monster fart screaming to come out but you are doing everything in your power to hold it in! Its like she is saying under her breath, “please, please, please, please, stop talking to I can get up from this table and run to the bathroom before I blow!”
Men are pigs around other men, but when they are courting a beautiful woman, they are just as bad. I have had men friends tell me the years of unbelievable control and super human abdominal strength it took them to hold in their gas while they were with their sweet thing. It was even more difficult for them to not show the same pain on their face that was sweeping through their lower body. Add to that the fear of losing your loved one over letting one slip out and it’s almost too much to handle.
Guys and gals, at some point, you just have to let it go! You can’t hold it in forever! I say, the earlier in the relationship, the better. Get it out in the open (so to speak) and don’t hold anything back. He/she has to know, at some point, whether or not they can live with that. If they can’t, move on and find someone who can. No two people’s tastes (or smells) are the same. That foul smell just may be a sweet fragrance to someone else’s nostrils.
So, let er rip! The earlier the better! It’s the best relationship advice you will ever receive!
The Lonesome Leaker 